im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
