Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
