Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
