And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
