True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
