What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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