My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Damn victory sex feels great
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
