I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize