Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
