I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
