i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
