I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
