my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
