And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am available for nakedness
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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