Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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