He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
