the condom got lost in my hair
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize