Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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