Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
love makes seman taste better
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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