just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
