If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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