I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
