If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
