I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
