I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my being single is dangerous.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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