There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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