What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
