Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
