I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
