i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
