this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize