Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
