everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
