how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
