Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
