Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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