He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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