Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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