pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
