I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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