I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Everyone says I win the strip club
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
