They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
