The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
