it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
