white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize