Quick, to the slutcave!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize