oh god the rape fog is back!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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