i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
