i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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