You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
