im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize