I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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