I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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