is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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