u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
